Well, we got a lot done during May, Gray May as it has been called because of all the gloomy weather. And now, welcome to June, 2 weeks in and June Gloom is in full swing. It feels appropriate for the weather to have been gray and gloomy the past 6+ weeks, for my it has matched my hormone woes. After the high of figuring out how to get everything in storage put away properly in our small house and rearranging cabinets, closets, rooms and the garage to make space for everything in a cohesive and functioning manner, it has now been a shit-show of hormone meltdowns. So much so, we were convinced that my newest Femring must have accidentally been the lower dose instead of the current .1 dose. Alas, this was not the case and in fact, on paper, my lab work looks great. So, WTF?
And the question of what to do with my life has quickly turned into: how to make it through the day. 6 weeks ago I was contemplating getting a normal job now that my dream of managing environmental educational programs on our land is a bust. And I found 2 jobs I actually liked and was more than qualified for...which was right around when my hormone body began having back problems. Both jobs required applicants to be able to lift, carry, move 50lbs. Not usually an issue, except when hormone shit flares up and merely bending over puts my back into days of pain, if not weeks. 1 job was at the city art center, the other at the animal rescue/care center. The first one would get me back into being surrounded by art, the second, by animals. Both appealing. But, my hormone body was having none of it. Along with the usual suspects of hormone issues like dizziness, anxiety, aches and pains, nausea, poor sleep, and foggy brain, my back decided it was going to be out of commission. Typically that only lasts 3 days, this time it lasted over a week. That was followed by the intestinal/stomach thing coupled with a 3 day migraine. The migraine went away, the stomach thing didn't; 2 weeks of bland food, soup, yogurt and ginger ale in an attempt to not have a stomach ache. At least when I'm having all the other hormone stuff, I can look forward to cooking and making yummy food; the stomach thing robs me of even that. At this point, my only focus was how to get out of this hormone hell. I did get in to see my Dr and, well, there aren't really any answers. In fact, she said that the majority of the women she has worked with end up having their hormone issues even out after 2 years and settled down to minimal issues. But, she said, about 2 percent of her patients don't have that happen and they need a 'bridging' type of treatment. And apparently, after 6 years of this rollercoaster hormone ride, I fit into that 2 percent category. Yay.
So what is a 'bridging' treatment? Well, it involves taking a daily medication designed for anxiety/depression. It turns out that many of these types of medications have been shown to be effective for menopause issues like hot flashes, sex drive and joint pain. They also are used to help with those who quit smoking, have eating disorders, and conditions like fibromyalgia. While not directly approved by the FDA, these medications are often used to help with conditions other than anxiety and depression. A couple of years ago, I would have said no way, but today? Today I'm getting desperate. I have tried pretty much all the main HRT regiments, and while they have had an impact, they haven't worked as well for me the way they have for most. So, I looked into some of these medications and found research studies to get an idea if this was the way to go (which there doesn't seem to be any other way at this point) and I was pleasantly surprised by what I found. Research shows that some of these medications have been pretty effective in reducing menopause issues and while they may not know exactly why (they have reasons but not the whole story), they know they work.
My Dr mentioned Lexapro as an example, which I looked up...and I can say with conviction that this medication is a hard no for me. While it has similar side effects as other A&D meds, weight gain is it's biggest drawback. The drug warning says a possible weight gain, the original studies suggest 11+ percent of patients gain weight, but the most recent study shows 41 percent of patients gain 7 percent of their body and continue to gain weight over the period of 6 years. Ah, no thanks. I have enough issues with menopause, I don't need to add weight gain to the hellish mix. So, assuming my Dr says it will do the same or similar as Lexapro (SSRI), I would opt for Wellbutrin (SNRI). While not the same medication, they are similar enough and have similar non-A&D uses. This is not say I'm definitely going to opt in, it is to say, that if the latest tweak to my hormone regiment doesn't have the desired effect, the next step is an A&D medication.
I am tempted to apologize for all the bummer hormone talk, but the fact is, half of the human population has to deal with this. So, why are we not talking about this openly and honestly with the intent to normalize what half the human race has to live with? Well, I'm sure you know the answer.
In other news, here are some pics to show what we've been up to and what's going on as we head roaringly towards half way through 2023. A sunny day before all the gloom set in, the courtyard all cleaned up and ready for summer, Dave's office finally has the entryway piece (we had to pay 2 guys $$ to move it because it was too heavy for us), Mother's day with the zips, a delicious sweet potato-banana bread chocolate chip bread I made, us & the zips at the Scottish Fest at the fair grounds in Costa Mesa. Followed by a video of my latest yarn haul.
Oh, and the top photo is the couch we recently bought, not that exact couch, but that version in a dark gray heather color that should be here in 8-12 weeks. It serves 3 functions: a smaller couch for our small living room (currently we have the huge brown leather sectional from the big house) it has a queen sleeper so the kids can stay over, and it's very firm and upright, perfect for my back when watching tv and crocheting.
